Yes, I'm still alive: And I saw what had to be the worst paper ever today. You may or may not know that I work at a writing center. My duties include checking the web-based writing lab and responding to any papers that people send in. There's usually a couple of papers waiting for me on Monday mornings, because nobody checks it all weekend. This morning, I had one paper that was the usual (subject-verb agreement problems, sentence fragments, comma splices, incorrect APA formatting) and one that was just so awful I couldn't handle it. I should have known that it would be bad when I saw the word "grammar" misspelled as "gramma." People spell "grammar" as "grammer" all the time, but I can understand that mistake--they just watch too much Frasier and they get confused. And yes, I thought the "gramma" thing was a typo until I saw the paper.

Don't get me wrong, the "helping people" thing isn't so bad. This job beats the crap out of my last job. But sometimes--and it's very rare--I get papers that are beyond saving. I looked at this one and thought "I can do nothing for her." I also thought "how did she manage to pass a composition class"?

So that's how my day began. It gets better from here, doesn't it?

The birthday party location has been selected. Here's the details:

Nanette's 27th Birthday Party!

July 7, 2001, 8:30 PM

Diversey River Bowl

2211 W. Diversey, Chicago

Lane rental is $22/hour, shoe rental is $1.50. Favors will be provided, and the best bowler will get some kind of trophy. I suspect that we'll bowl for about two hours, then move the party to an as-yet-unspecified location. I sent out one of those handy little Yahoo Invites to a whole bunch of people, but I know I've missed a few. (I'm doing this from work, so I don't have access to my massive address book/backlog of email in my inbox.) Let me know if I missed you, and I'll send it your way. I'm trying to have an accurate count so I'll have enough party favors for everyone. Oh, and bring friends. The more, the merrier!

That said...I'm going to be taking a break from Amplified until June 27. In the next week, I have fifty pages worth of term paper to write, along with all the other little things I need to do. Ugh. I promise that I will post something nice and long on the 27th. I may pop in here from time to time to post a thing or two, but it's kind of unlikely. I also have an Obsessive Project of my own brewing, and the details will be revealed once I get back.

So have a good next-eight-days, everyone. I'll be back to my usual antics before you know it.

Oh, wait...before I go, does anyone have an extra ticket to either of the Fugazi shows next weekend? It's not for me--it's for a complete stranger who emailed me out of the blue, and I'm trying to help out. Let me know if you do, and I'll arrange some sort of money-for-ticket exchange.

  ¶ 6/18/2001 10:43:00 AM