1995: Went to the New Year's Eve party at Aftermath, a local goth/industrial club with Amanda, Robin, and Greg. (There you have it, my dirty secret: I was a teenage--well, I guess I was 21--goth girl.) Key highlights of the evening included:

-a really trashy drunk girl who wanted me to spank her (Aftermath had a "dungeon" set up in the basement with all sorts of bondage stuff. It was amusing at times, but usually we just hung out there because it was quieter than upstairs)

-a lot of dancing and a cheap champagne toast at midnight

-a big fight with Greg in which he said that he "had thought about marrying me someday, but I had gained weight in the past few months and he was worried that I would end up being fat." This, of course, pissed me off. Amusingly, he turned to my friends for support, and my friends told him that he was a complete asshole. They are astute, these friends of mine. Pity that it took me several years to believe them.

1996: Went to a party in some posh North Shore mansion. It was, seriously, a mansion. There was a garage full of vintage Ferrarris in this mansion. And it was full of snotty posh North Shore rich kids who are, indeed, just like the snotty posh North Shore rich kids you see in 80s movies. At one point in the evening, I fell asleep on one of the "fine Corinthian leather" couches and woke up to discover a whole gaggle of snotty North Shore rich kids snorting coke on the glass-topped coffee table. I felt like I had fallen asleep in 1997 and woken up in 1985 in the middle of a Bret Easton Ellis novel that was taking place in Winnetka instead of Manhattan (or wherever it is that Bret Easton Ellis novels take place--I always confuse his 80s pseudoliterary coke epics with Jay McInerney's 80s pseudoliterary coke epics). At one point in the evening, I slapped Greg across the face for being a complete and total dick (yes, this is a pattern) and his stupid stoned friend said that it wasn't very nice. So I turned to the stupid stoned friend and told him to mind his own fucking business or I'd knock his ass down the stairs. Hooray for my temper.

1997: After two shitty New Year's Eves with Greg, I had decided to make it a calm, peaceful, alcohol AND Greg-free evening. I had planned to go to First Night Evanston with my friend Ken. We would do all the silly "family" things and I'd go home around 1 AM. Well...a couple of days before New Year's Eve, Greg showed up with some sob story about how he had nothing to do on New Year's Eve. Dumbass me, I invite him along to First Night knowing very well that Ken couldn't stand Greg. Diplomatic, yep, that's me. Anyhow, Greg decided to invite his nutcase friend Karl along to dinner on New Year's Eve. Karl is a nutcase par excellence. I have known a number of nutcases in my time. This guy was worse than every one of them combined at their worst possible moment. He was also an alcoholic and a cokehead. What a charmer. Anyhow, after a fine meal of delicious Thai food, Karl went outside for a cigarette and I told Greg that he needed to GET RID OF KARL because I didn't like him and I didn't want him along. Well, Greg went outside and said something to Karl (who, by the way, looked like a four-year old child blown up to gruesome adult size) and it set him off. The guy came back into the restaurant and proceeded to talk shit about me for fifteen minutes straight. Just...nasty talk. Greg sat there stoically (what an asshole! If someone was talking shit to your significant other, would you sit there and say nothing? I hope not) and Karl finally finished and went on his merry way. Asshole. Fucker. Hopefully he drove his Volvo off a cliff or something. So yes, this ruined my New Year's Eve completely. At midnight, I believe I was crying on Ken's shoulder while Greg sat in Ken's living room and, hopefully, felt like the complete asshole that he was.

1998: Having learned from my experiences, I made it a point to NOT invite Greg out for New Year's Eve. Instead, I got together with a large group of friends and went to the Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind New Year's Eve spectacular. It was heaps of fun, though it took us half an hour to find a cab in the subzero weather. Brrrr. The night ended kind of early because Colin was ill. I slept in the same bed as Matty, which was very exciting to me. I think I bragged about it for a couple of weeks. Matty sleeps with the TV on so I kept waking up and hearing about the huge snowstorm that was getting ready to hit on New Year's Day. Colin ended up with some form of the flu, and Chicago ended up with well over a foot of snow.

1999: Being the paranoid freakshow that I can be, I decided to host a New Year's Eve party at my own home. I was worried about going out because people are assholes and I didn't really want to get shot, burned alive, or otherwise mauled by rioting hordes who were convinced that the year 2000 really meant something. So I hung out at home with Amanda, Hafthor, Matty, and my mom and brother. We played games and ate and I got really drunk and bitched and moaned because my boyfriend was 800-some miles away kissing his date or whatever. The party ended with everyone having a big long conversation (which I didn't really participate in because I was drunk) about raising children.

So right now, my New Year's Eve record is 2-3. Hopefully I'll manage to even the score tomorrow with a good New Year's Eve. Hopefully. I've got my fingers crossed.

I'm just sitting here staring at a blank screen. Thinking that there's a bunch of stuff I want to say, but thinking that either I probably shouldn't say it or I don't know how to put it quite yet. Thinking that maybe I should just write about what's been going on, who I've met, what I've done--stick to surface details and let all the stuff on the inside just sort of settle.

So, yeah. I met Paul and Guy. Paul reminds me of twelve different people I've known throughout my life all inside of one person. It's kind of funny. Guy is the sort of quiet, shy boy that chicks dig but they never want to come out and say it. Last night was spent playing video games and sitting around and drinking. I guess that's a pretty standard Friday night wherever you go. I mostly sat around and read--I can't handle the controllers on those new-fangled video games. Too many buttons.

Right now, I don't know how I'm feeling, and that's kind of bothering me. I don't know if it's the whole end-of-the-year reflection thing or if it's just my slight disappointment at how my time here has gone. Maybe, to quote Prince, I'm just too demanding. Maybe. I just had slightly...I don't know...different expectations. And I don't know exactly why I'm talking about it here. Makes no sense at all.

As long as my New Year's Eve isn't a disappointing letdown...although I guess that would be the proper ending for such a downright shitty year. It would make sense, almost.

I like Louisville. It has hills. This may not sound exciting to anyone else, but when you grow up in an area that is extremely flat, hills are kind of cool. It's a large enough city that there's plenty to do, but it's not overwhelming like, say, New York City. (Don't get me wrong, I adore NYC, it's just that I felt overwhelmed by it.)

So I am enjoying my stay thus far. This is good, as I have several more days left to be here.

I must apologize to any non-Chicagoans who read this site: apparently, I am only interesting to people who live in Chicago. This is news to me. I will attempt to be more entertaining to those of you who do not live in Chicago from now on.

I'm working on my application for University of Illinois today. I've finished the resume part, now I just have a one-page personal statement and a short essay to write. I had to interview a staff member at a local library for the short essay. I did the interview a couple of weeks ago. I don't know why I've been so lazy about writing the damn thing up. It's not like it's going to take me more than half an hour.

So the application will be sent out tomorrow. The letters of recommendation won't be in for another couple of weeks due to the winter break, but hopefully that won't matter. I'll just make sure that everybody gets them in as quickly as possible. This is kind of exciting!

At this rate, I'll actually be able to relax tonight and maybe watch one of the movies I got for Christmas. That will be nice.

I did pretty well on the presents end of things. Everyone liked what I got them, and I liked what everyone bought for me. I got to see family that I only see once a year, which was cool. I saw my godson Bryce, who is almost two now. The last time I saw him, he was just learning how to pull himself up into a standing position. Now he's moving around like crazy, and he's absolutely adorable. We played a little game that he enjoyed. He would charge at me and "knock me down." I would do a big production of falling backwards, making faces and noises. Then I'd sit back up and he'd do it again. Sometimes I would just let him push at me for a while before I would fall backwards, and sometimes I would pull him down with me and tickle him. It was fun. I also got roped into playing school with Bryce's older brother and sister. We played a couple of games of hangman, which was fun.

I did get some sad news today. One of my former students (I was a teacher, y'know) was killed. Shot. Apparently, it was accidental. I was more than a little bit shocked and saddened by this. I don't know when it happened--I found out from the principal of the school where I taught, he's a family friend--but...damn. Durean would piss me off sometimes, but I remember how helpful and pleasant he was on the first day of school that year. I remember talking to his mother several times during the year, she was a security guard and she'd come by the classroom when she got off work early to see how her son was doing. I hope she's doing all right. I wish I knew what more of those kids were up to these days. My 8th graders have now finished their first semester of college.

I also discovered that my cousin is developing into a totally cool chick. She went to the Metro a couple of days ago to see the Blue Meanies, and we got into a conversation about music. She's planning to get a bass and an amp soon. I'm going to make her a tape of some stuff, and I think she's going to come with me the next time I go out to the Fireside Bowl.

I'm going to hook up my graphics tablet now...soon I'll be able to draw silly pictures and post them. Get excited. Heh.

Last night, we got home and noticed that the mouse had somehow made it up on to one of the end tables in the living room and ransacked the candy dish. Apparently, my little mousy friend had developed a craving for chocolate, and it had consumed half of a Hershey's kiss and part of a peanut butter cup.

So I said, "why not bait one of the traps with a Hershey's kiss?"

The mouse took the bait within fifteen minutes.

So no more mouse stories, hopefully.